Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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