Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize