none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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