I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
