your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
