I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
