My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
