Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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