my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
