I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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