What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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