She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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