I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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