My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im holly from the hills drunk
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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