Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
