You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
