You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
