he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
