at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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