I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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