You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Panties = found
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
