Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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