But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
