i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
