So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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