I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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