she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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