y did u give ur computer a hand job?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
