If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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