SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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