Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
