how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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