so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize