I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
