I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
