I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
