also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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