please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
