just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
