I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do vagina's smell?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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