Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
