sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
