So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
