Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
