I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
