I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
