been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
