I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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