how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
