Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
