I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
