return my video game
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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