turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
NoShamevember. You game?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize