she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I didn't notice because vodka
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
