i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I understand Curling. That high.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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