slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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