If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
