I understand Curling. That high.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
