You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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