strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
