I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
